As October comes to an end, many of you are gearing up to begin National Novel Writing Month. Although I won’t be joining in on the mad scribbling, I’ll be participating indirectly. Sort of. But maybe not really. You see, I participated back in 2010 (and won with 50,006 words. woo!). I worked for the next two years to edit the fruits of my labour, which was quite a task.
NaNoWriMo is a heady and intense experience and I’m so glad that I did it. It got me into the habit of writing every day and I’ve been more disciplined with my writing since then. However, the problem with scribbling your entire novel with your internal editor switched off is that it can be massively difficult to go back over it once November ends and make something coherent out of it. Hence, the two years.
Last December, I finished it up and sent it off to a competition (that I didn’t win, by the way). I had worked on my story so much that I was pretty sick of it by then. Once I sent it off, I started working on ideas for the novel I’m working on now. I’ve been researching, outlining and dabbling in writing the actual story during 2013.
But all of a sudden, a switch has been flipped. All of a sudden I want to go over my first story. After all, I have 88k words just sitting there not doing anything. I would really like to try to get it published. So, last night I started reading it again with a view to cleaning it up and filling in any potential plot holes so that I can send it off to literary agencies/publishers.
Let me stop you before anyone mentions self-publishing. This isn’t a path I’m interested in at the moment. Perhaps in the future, if I don’t have luck with publishers. We’ll see how I feel about it then. For now, it’s not an avenue I’d like to travel.
As I was reading my story last night I kept thinking that it was ok. There were times when it actually felt like I was reading a novel. That’s probably a good thing.
The problem is that no one else has read it. Ever. Not even the hubs. I’m not sure if the people I submitted it to read it as I wasn’t sent any confirmation that they had even received it. This means that I have absolutely no idea as to its readability.
Once I’ve read it and let my husband read it, I’ll be looking for beta readers so if you think you’d be interested in that kind of thing please keep it in the back of your mind. (I’m not quite ready for anyone else to read it just yet.)
It’s actually terrifying to think of people reading my book, which is silly because books are meant to be read. However, I suffer from self-doubt in a big way. Sometimes it’s almost crippling. Why on earth would I think that anyone would want to read what I’ve written? It probably isn’t very good. Who do I think I am, trying to foist my work on an unsuspecting public?
You get the idea.
These are hurdles I’m trying to get over. (Although I’d be much happier if I could just effortlessly walk around them…)
Anyway, I shall continue reading my work today and I’ll let you know how it goes. I definitely think that it’s time for this story to come out of hiding and I finally feel ready to tackle it. I’m going to do my best to put myself out there even though I’d rather hug my precious pages to myself and hide under the covers.
On a completely different note, last night my husband came home from work with a present for me. Behold!
This is exactly why I married him. I’ve only read up to page 36 so far, but oh, the giggles! Obviously, this book is best read if you have seen (and liked) Star Wars. That’s all I’ll say for now. I’ll be doing a blog post on this book once I’ve finished it.
It makes me chuckle to think of the looks I’ll be getting when I read this on the tube tomorrow! I’m sure I’ll be giggling all the way to work.